Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone
Believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes,
Why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
Are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE.......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!
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What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.
12 comments:
Those are wonderful, especially the one of the bank taking money out of the account that has no money.
Oh Sylvia, I'm laughing out loud. Here is one for you: while shopping for shoes and having asked the sales person to try a particular pair on in a size 8, why would she offer, "No we don't have an 8, but will either a size 7 1/2 or a 9 do?
Well this certainly food for thought. I wonder why there are no father in law jokes and it is so true about always knocking something else over. Love them all. Have a wonderful Weekend :)
Sylvia, drop over to my place and pick up your award, If you are so inclined.
That was fun. My fridge is not doing any magic, either.
I guess there are apes because we haven't finished evolving?
I love these! I must admit, I am guilty of several of them! Fun!
Yea, what is the deal?
All such excellent questions!
ROFL!! I do the refrigerator thing all the time! And yes, I want the winter house at *least* as warm as summer...thank goodness I don't have a lisp, but that one made me laugh out loud.
Too many good ones to pick a favourite!
when are we ever going to get some answers lol!
Thank you for the laughs, Sylvia - all so very true!
Tarzan doesn´t have a beard because heroes never do, even if they don´t have Gillette stuff at the nearest tree mall.
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