Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless
It seems to me that as I grow older I find myself going through as many changes as I did as a teenager and that in itself is puzzling. Oh, I can accept – reluctantly, the physical changes. I knew they were inevitable, damnit! But haven’t I learned anything over the years? Why can’t one just transition smoothly through the various stages of life? Can’t I just grow old gracefully without all the ups and downs, emotional highs and lows? Does this happen to everyone or is it just me? As you can see, I have lots of questions and apparently few answers.
When I started blogging six months ago I wrote about some of those ups and downs, the fears, the insecurities, but I was at a rather crucial point in my life and writing things down helped me to see those things more clearly and I began to move past them. Then it was all just fun, fun to be able to write and share things with others; to find that I wasn’t the only one who had had problems of one kind or another over the years. And it’s been such fun getting into photography and sharing my pictures. At last! I thought I have transitioned to being an “elder”.
Then recently I began to notice that I wasn’t writing about things that I felt or didn’t feel. Oh, I found all kinds of things to post – funny, naughty, politics, weather, but what I wasn’t writing about was where I was emotionally on any given day. I was back to hiding that gal behind the funny stuff, the ugly stuff, politics, and photos. I have to admit however, I’ve begun to get so discouraged with the politics and the frightful conditions of our economy, our country that I don’t even know what to write about them anymore. Maybe that’s part of my problem these days; that and worrying about my kids, how they are going to survive this mess.
So, I find myself asking the reflection in the mirror, what’s going on with you now? And when in the hell are you going to accept that you are seventy-five and a half years old? Stop acting like a teenager and deal with reality. Maybe it’s the weather, just the winter blues. And of course, all the computer problems haven’t helped. I am getting a new one and that, of course, gave me another reason to feel guilty??? Should I be spending that money right now???
Well, I don’t have any answers. The politics are still lousy as is the economy, everyone’s love affair with Obama is beginning to tremble as we have to deal with the fact that he’s not going to be able to solve all the problems we have immediately and that whatever he does or doesn’t do there will be plenty of people out there to complain that he should have done it this way or that way. And the beat goes on!
So, now that I’ve pissed and moaned for paragraph after paragraph, what have I accomplished? Nothing, but for whatever reason I suddenly feel better. Guess it’s the sick fun of passing on your aches and complaints. Whatever, but if any of you feel like pissing moaning please feel free to email me or leave them in a comment.
Well, time for me to get off my butt and figure how quickly I can get to the bank with some coins to cover that new computer.
21 comments:
Sylvia dear! you snatched the words from my mouth, this is exactly how I feel most of the time, though I am not yet your age. I love reading your blog daily. See, I am the first one to read and comment as I was feeling the same. Have a gr8 day.
Blogging has become a stress relieving therapy in this age when individual freedom and privacy issues, have converted individuals into islands. I know what you mean when you say you blog about the jokes, and funnies, and photos, when you actually dont feel like that... but look at this way - your wonderful mind is trying to stabilize things by pulling your attention to good things. And for that to happen , you need to keep the mind and brain sharp by using it, like in blogging....
Potpourii and ugich, thank you so much! At times like these it becomes all the more clear why blogging is not only great therapy in itself, but the because of the beautiful people it draws into your life. Please know that I am always here you as well, my dear friends!
blogging is therapy! writing about feelings helps you get a handle on them and deal with them. we all seem to understand that and go through similar stresses at any given time...there will always be problems in the world whether it was 1929 or 1945, even cavemen had problems so it helps to take a deep breath and continue on with what is in our control-our own behavior and ability to do good to others and improve ourselves. you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. none of us can!
Sylvia, I can never see the words "Follow This Blog" .... they just never come up. Anyway it's possibly a glitch that will eventually go away, but I'm trying :)
Listening to your music selection now for the past 45 minutes!
Sylvia, I feel the same a lot of the time and I will grant you that bloggers more than any others do. I think there are just more and more changes all the time. I now just hold my hands up to the universe and go ok, whatever.
At least there are many that will be travelling the same road together.
You are a beautiful spirit. Thats all I know. Our blogs reflect how we feel at the time so its good to share everything you feel you want to. Emotional highs and lows are par for the course for everyone now more than ever.
Take Care - we will be here to read and respond. Tomorrow is another day.
PS Dont feel bad about getting the computer - as you know its going to bring you lots of joy and enable you to connect to your friends all over the world!!
I'm here with a great BIG Aussie hug Sylvia. Bitch and moan all you like - it's absolutely therapeutic and because we've all been where you are at some time or other, we understand!
You have given many many others heaps of encouragement - including me!
June in Oz
Ah, June, thank you! I tried to send you an email, but this old computer is misbehaving as usual -- soon things will be better. Thank you so much for your support as I thank everyone! How lucky are we to have each other???
Much love to you,
This post makes me feel better. Thank you for writing it! This is something I've been thinking quite a bit about lately. Stages all through life, aren't there?
I use a diary to write about my insecurities and worries, and my blog to keep my mind working. I find both are wonderful therapy. And aren't we lucky to have writing as therapy right into old age!
As for America's woes, I really know how you feel. After WW2, when I was getting old enough to know what was what, I really mourned for the passing of Britain's glory days. I don't say the US is in decline, but I do think there's a change in the weather. It'll pass.
Ah Sylvia, I don't blame you for stewing as you have. I use my blog as a diary to mull things over that go through my mind.
I worry some about my children too. It took my daughter three months to find a job after she lost the one she had and it pays $10 an hour less. At least something is coming in now. It was an even bigger worry because they are in the middle of building a new home.
Then I also am concerned about my younger son, who is trying to recuperate from his divorce. He wants to find a woman he can love and marry. But it's so hard anymore. So many women do not want to be married anymore. They just want their "freedom"...whatever that is.
sharing is therapeutic ...
Hmmm, my GF syays I act like a 12 yearlod sometimes, I can't wait to be a teen! When does that happen cuz I'm working on my 5 decade now.
My favorite blogs sre those that let me know who the people are and what they are experiencing now and then along with other things; so seems to me that bitching once in awhile is a good thing along with soaring with joy. It is part of life at any age. I think you said it well here.
You have a new computer? Lucky you! I want one. ;-) LOL! I love this photo. Poor donkey.
Happy weekend!
Paz
Sylvia, it seems as though I am doing an opposite of what you are doing. While most of my blog has been all about me, me, me... emotion after emotion... this New Year I realized that there was more to me than all that emotion... and that I needed to put more focus on representing a more well rounded person. After all, what we put energy into is what IS. I wanted to move beyond my sickness (depression, sadness,etc)... I truly felt that if I posted on some of these other things, to include light weight trivial stuff, this would transform more strongly into my reality. Like you, writing helps me to sort through my emotions, so that I can understand them more and straighten myself out. Sometimes people don't know how to respond to any given post that I might put out there, because it may be too sad, weird, morbid or just plain crazy... but it doesn't matter... what matters is that I face those emotions and express them... expressing them means I am not in denial of them. I've been known to hide a post for a long period of time, to release much later... and no one can really see it, unless they go exploring on my blog, which most people don't do, but it's "out there", the energy is released. I think you are doing just fine, just great... the key is to have balance. If you begin to feel you have too much of something, change it... your inner self will always tell you when it's time. And do me a favor, don't ever grow up! Don't ever let that part inside of you, that feels 17, begin to feel 75. Only the body grows old... if we can, keep the Heart that never grows old, for it will keep you moving forward with faith, hope and expectation for what lies ahead... instead of falling into complacency, you will remain vibrant and alive!
Love & Light
Sylvia, no one has to grow up and act like an adult if they don't feel like it! Stay young, express yourself, go buy a computer. You've followed the rules all your life, worried about your kids most of your life. It's your time now! Do whatever the h___ you want! :)
I know you're not alone out there. As for blogging, I find it a great release but not to be taken too seriously. I write about things that strike my fancy without much concern as to who or how many may read my thoughts. It's fun and because of that rewarding and that in itself makes me feel better.
I whined and complained on my post today too. I seem to go up and down all of the time. Platitudes are not helpful. Feeling guilty happens but you shouldn't listen to those feelings. Getting busy helps me. And you certainly shouldn't feel guilty about buying a new computer. It's a necessity of life! And it may have saved someone's job.
Welcome back Sylvia, glad to know you're still out there. Reading your blog recently I decided you had left us. All I saw was funnies and works of others. Glad you're back.
I'm thrilled you're getting a new computer, no one deserves one more than you. You'll love it and have way more fun than you can imagine.
It's a constant reminder to me, there really is nothing new under the sun, I've been around for awhile, though you have some years on me, your writings flow easily through my mind. Thanks for the additional beauitful music,I shall return.
Post a Comment