1. Wear your glasses.
TO make sure your partner is actually in the bed..
2. Set timer for 3 minutes,
In case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6... Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..
8. Make all the noise you want...
The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
16 comments:
Too funny!
Craig Glenn
Very good - and frighteningly familiar ;0))
Do you know that I've gotten to the stage in life where I can set the timer for five minutes (although not in this situation, LOL!) and when it goes off I have no idea what it was set for OR EVEN WHO SET IT?
Cute....hope they are just funny though ;)
Hi Sylvia,
Maxine was on a roll today. Funny!
U
Thank you so much! This was great!
This is very funny, Sylvia. I understood everything. :-)
Hi Sylvia, thanks for my afternoon laugh:) I just love Maxine... she always says what we all think but won't say...
Pam :)
this is hysterical! Thanks for the day brightener.
ROFLMAO!
Hurray Maxine!
Boy did I need a laugh, and that hit the spot!
Made my Day :) Have a fab weekend.
Thanks for the chuckle! Way too familiar, though.
Glimpses of Truth makes the Heart laugh.
Funny, but sad at the same time!
I have to thank Bobbie for finding you and Maxine. Great, I needed some laughs.
The only thing you can do about it is laugh! (Hollowly)
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